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Learning to be unloved

Blog 10

“Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your daughter; because you are His daughter”

– Kristin Chez

No one had to teach me how to be unloved.

No one had to tell me that I wasn’t measuring up.

No one had to tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough.

Yet, every time I find myself in a dressing room trying on a new pair of jeans, I find that I am more than gifted in the art of insecurity.

No one had to teach me this skill, but I know where I learned it.

I learned it in these dressing rooms, while my mom tried on new pairs of jeans and she shared her self-criticisms.

I learned it at family reunions, where the women who share my gene pool, my cheek bones and love handles, compared the weight they wanted to lose.

I learned it by the pool, as my mom and her friends would talk about how they weren’t “summer ready.”

No one had to teach me how to be unloved, but they did so without realizing I was learning it from them.

These same women who told me how beautiful I was on a daily basis, couldn’t see themselves the same way; and eventually, I stopped believing them on what they said to me, and I started trusting what they said to themselves.

We didn’t have to learn how to be unloved; but because we have, we now have to unlearn how to be unloved. We have to learn how to become beloved. That process is much more intentional, and much harder, but from what I hear, God is a big fan of helping us renew our minds.

So starting now:

That means we have to say different things to ourselves in the dressing room.

That means we have to pick a different subject at brunch.

That means we have to understand that being summer ready, has more to do with the proper application of spf than it does being “fit.”

That means we praise him in the mirror because we are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to your daughter; because you are His daughter, and your sisters are listening.

Kristin Chez

Beloved Team Member

1 thought on “Learning to be unloved”

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