By Nancy Ellis
Have you ever really needed help but could not bring yourself to ask? Have you ever thought this problem I have is too insignificant to bother God or others?
I believe this is our nature as a woman. Eve was created to care for Adam right? Well, God did create Adam with a need for help from another person. He created Eve with this purpose in mind: “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
So according to Biblical truths, the answer is twofold:
#1. This does not mean Adam was inadequate and neither was Eve. It means we were designed and created to give and receive help.
#2. More importantly, it brings to the forefront the truth of our need for God. Our Heavenly Father knows we are imperfect beings, He created us that way, to depend on and be in relationship with Him.
Like the Captain of a ship, I’m reluctant to send out an SOS even when I need it the most; eventually making me go down with the ship.
My husband drove me to my first physical therapy appointment after my ACL replacement. I hobbled along on crutches as he held my purse. Yep, HE held my purse. Then, when I got there, the therapist asked: “How much time did you take off work?” I said, “none”. Naturally, she follow up questions was “Then who will help you these two weeks?” TWO WEEKS! You mean I need a chauffeur, maid, nurse and cook for TWO weeks?! Yes, my hands were full of crutches and my left leg was locked in extension. I felt inadequate and it was time to send up an SOS. Save Our Ships.
When I got home I was stalling on this SOS, so I made myself a cup of coffee but quickly realized I had to drink it standing up because I could not carry it with me to the chair or sofa from my kitchen countertop (once again due to the crutches). I could not bathe myself or use the restroom by myself. For those who know me, you know that this is torture. As a driven (controlling), independent woman I do not want to rely on anyone, for anything but I was sinking with my own ship. So, first I threw my hands up and said “God why? Don’t we have big things to accomplish together”? Silly, me. Its always God at work and I needed to be reminded that I can accomplish more because of Him then because of my own brute force. The venerability I felt saying “God I need you, and I need help” was uncomfortable yet freeing all at the same time.
Time to call in reinforcements. My mom, sister, brother, husband and friends all took shifts helping me dress, cook, drive, stretch, work, take care of the kids and grab a coffee. All the while, with a smile as they said things like “it’s my pleasure” or “happy to”. What I learned is that they felt purpose like Eve with being needed and all these years I had been pushing them away and depriving them of this form of connection within our relationship. I also learned that I am better because of them. No longer was I going down with the ship but I was thriving and two weeks ahead of schedule on my physical therapy because I was able to rest, exercise and connect to the people who love me most. What a blessing it is to have help and to help others. How much more intimate our relationship is now that we have gone on this journey of recovery and love together.
So sisters, I ask you, is it time to let someone in? Is it time to say yes to some help? Give yourself the opportunity to be cared for and give them the opportunity to care for you. That is the way God intended us to grow our relationships with our brothers and sisters here on earth. His master plan for our lives never ceases to amaze me! I pray that you help and be helped today.
Nancy Ellis is a wife, mom of two little ones, a successful businesswoman and is a Small Group Leader here at Cape Christian. Her passion to lead in love in every area of life is contagious as she helps women of all ages embrace God’s love for them. She is transparent, real and one of the most encouraging women I know. – Cindy Grasso